Allyson (my birth name) is an Old English name meaning “truth”
甄珠 Zhen Zhu (my Chinese name, pronounced jen-joo) sounds like the word for “pearl”
I have made the interesting discovery that when I speak Chinese my personality changes. I become more extroverted and bold. I enjoy talking with strangers. I make jokes. I get angry and yell. It’s noticeably different. My friends have pointed it out. I can feel it. My best explanation of this phenomenon is that my Chinese self is Allyson-unfiltered. It is the real me without the masks I learned to wear because of fear or anticipation of the expectations of others.
There is also a deep place in my heart that is touched only in Mandarin. Certain song lyrics, Scripture passages, and Truths resonate in me and make a portion of me come alive in a way that the same ideas in English never did. It’s like part of me remained dormant until I moved to China and learned Mandarin. Sometimes it feels like coming home.
I am discovering, through who I am when I speak and hear Mandarin, who I was truly created to be. Allyson meets 甄珠Zhen Zhu, Truth meets Pearl. This blog documents snapshots of that journey.
I think part of that feeling comes from the freedom of being in the center of the Father's will for your life. It's pretty awesome to witness, so thanks for sharing!!
ReplyDeleteI think perhaps we may have been some of your friends to point it out. Didn't we say you spoke Chinese with "attitude"? :) So glad you have a blog that we can follow. Miss you and think of you so often.
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