(Scripture passages are a
combination of the ESV and The Message)
On day two of my weekend away, God reminded me of a passage from Song of
Solomon that I read in the introduction of Ruth Myers’ The Satisfied Heart
a few days before. God met me in incredibly deep ways through this chapter in
His Word. He first spoke to my heart as I meditated on the phrases. Then,
because He knows me so well, He allowed me to see and touch these Truths in
vibrant and tangible ways. The truths came to life and made their way deep into
my heart as I explored the city and hiked atop what was left of the Great Wall
on its way to meet the sea.
Yes, God surprised me with an adventure-hike! Little
did I know when I started out that the path I was to take wouldn’t look like
the Great Wall I knew. I was sort of expecting, from the symbol on the map, a
path like that those famous photos that everyone has seen in coffee table
books. No, this was more like a long, snaking mound of dirt with a path on top,
slowly making its way to the horizon. But God knew that I would enjoy this kind
of hike much more! I wasn’t expecting it and it felt like a gift from God who
was teaching me so deeply about His love for me. As I walked along, maybe a
little taller and head held a little higher than before, I felt almost as if I
was on a first date. J Was I blushing at this perfectly chosen
gift just for me from Abba? A little.
I am just a wildflower picked from the
plains of Sharon,
a lotus blossom from the valley pools (Song of Solomon 2.1)
I have often felt this
way, especially in my relationship with God. One among many, not often singled
out. Maybe beautiful, but still unnoticed, not standing out special. I struggle
with the longings deep inside for intimacy and exclusivity. I know, in my head,
that these needs should and can be met by God, but the feeling of having them
met often eludes me. There are places in my heart that don’t believe it’s
possible for them to be satisfied in God. No matter how many times I hear of
other’s experiences, or read in books, or even Scripture, that portion of
unbelief lingers.
A while back, God started
digging into these places of unbelief in my heart. I remember studying the
attributes of God in my Systematic Theology class and it just dawned on
me—literally like new morning sunlight after the long darkness—that God is
bigger and different than I thought. God is Love. God is also eternal,
all-present, all-powerful, unchanging, free, infinite….and so His Love must
also be characterized by these things. If God is Love, and God is also all
those other things we discover about Him in Scripture, then His Love must also
be characterized by those things. His Love is infinite, eternal, unchanging,
all-present but never diminished, all-powerful, and free.
And, in His freedom, He
chose a wildflower from the wildflower-filled plains, a lotus blossom from the
valley pool. He singled me out from among many and chose me.
A lotus blossoming in a swamp of weeds,
that’s my beloved among the girls in the village (Song of Solomon 2.2).
Not only did He choose me,
but He sees me as different from the rest, a lily among brambles, a lotus in
the swamp. Exclusivity. He is able to satisfy and fulfill this longing!
At times, that path I was hiking along the top of
the ancient Wall seemed to disappear into a thick patch of brambles and thorn
bushes. And yet, it continued to wind carefully around the bushes and stretch
faithfully ahead. It was while walking through one of these briar patches that
I first noticed it. A wild purple crocus, its pointed petal and yellow-centered
beauty, breaking into the otherwise gray and brown of the brush. The stark
contrast made this brightly-colored treasure even more beautiful, more
precious.
And, God spoke to me…
It took my breath away. I
took about a hundred photos of the lilies/crocuses dotting the otherwise barren
and unremarkable pathway. I worshipped and blushed and thanked and was
overwhelmed with amazement at each movement of the shutter. Incredible! Not
only is God’s love for me this big, this special, this beautiful, but the way
He used to show me this spoke just as, if not more, deeply to my heart. On a
hike. With a flower. Able to capture the sight with my camera. Another
perfectly chosen gift just for me from Abba! He knows and loves me so
intimately, so deeply, so well.
As an apricot tree stands out in the
forest, my lover stands above the young men in town. All I want is to sit in
his shade, to taste and savor his delicious love [Psalm 27.4, 63]. He took me home with him for
a festive meal, but his eyes feasted on me. His banner over me was love. (Song
of Solomon 2.3-4)
As different as an apricot
or an apple tree is from the others in the forest, so is God’s love different
from earthly men. God showed me this as I hiked as well. It was springtime and it
was so easy to see the starked contrast between an apricot tree, full of white and
pink and fuchsia flowers against a backdrop of brown twigs tipped in green!
The voice of my Beloved! Behold he comes,
leaping over the mountains, bounding over the hills. My Beloved is like a
gazelle or a young stag. Behold, there he stands behind our wall, gazing
through the windows, looking through the lattice, on tiptoe at the gate, all
eyes, all ears—ready!
(Song of Solomon 2.8-9)
Leaping in
joy, bounding in excitement, gazing with anticipation. His heart is beating
fast. He has come for me!
My Beloved speaks and says to me:
Arise
my love, my beautiful one, and come away, for behold the winter has past; the
rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth, the time of singing has
come….the vines are in blossom….
Arise
my love, my beautiful one, and come away. O my dove, in the clefts of the rock,
in the crannies of the cliff, let me see your face, let me hear your voice, for
your voice is sweet and your face is lovely.
Catch
the foxes for us, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards, for our vineyards
are in blossom.
My Beloved is mine and I am his. (Song of Solomon 2.10-16)
This is His call to me—in general, of course—but
for that weekend in particular.
Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come
away!
“Yes!” I responded. “I will come! I will go with
You, hand-in-hand wherever you may go!”
Arise my love, my beautiful one, and come
away, for behold the winter has past; the rain is over and gone. The flowers
appear on the earth, the time of singing has come….the vines are in blossom….
The anticipation that springtime brings is His
voice calling me away. Flowers appearing….vines blossoming….birds singing….all
are His way of calling out to me to come away with Him. To be with Him. To love
Him. To enjoy Him. To find pleasure and satisfaction in Him. To delight in Who
He is and who He has created me to be.
Arise my love, my beautiful one, and come
away. O my dove, in the clefts of the rock, in the crannies of the cliff...
He is calling me out of hiding, out of winter
hibernation and slumber. He is calling me out of rock clefts and the small,
confining spaces…to fly, to spread my wings, to live in fullness. He is calling
me out. But even when I am still trapped, in hiding, He longs to see me, to
hear my voice. Even in those cramped places, when I’m not free, not soaring,
not “living in my created potential,” He sees the beautiful, special one He
created and longs for my company.
O my dove, in the clefts of the
rock, in the crannies of the cliff…., let me see your face, let me hear
your voice, for your voice is sweet and your face is lovely.
Amazing! Though He
certainly desires my freedom, longs to see me spread my wings, He doesn’t wait
for that before He looks and sees and delights. He doesn’t wait, even
patiently, for me to get it first. He loves me fully then, in the confined
places, in my winter hiding spot, in my brokenness, in my fear, in my weakness.
He, even then, finds me beautiful, sweet, ravishing.
Again, the Truth strikes
me. The freedom is not the goal, the end. An intimate, enjoyable, satisfying,
mutual delighting-in relationship with Abba is.
Catch the foxes for us, the little foxes
that spoil the vineyards, for our vineyards are in blossom.
In all this
delightfulness, there are things that spoil, things that threaten the new
blossoms, the delighting. And, He is asking me to catch them, to keep them from
taking away what we have.
They mute the singing.
They stop up my ears.
They pluck and eat the
fruit before it ripens.
They cloud over my eyes.
They keep me from enjoying
the beauty of the blossoms.
Maybe they keep me from hearing Him call to me.
Maybe they keep me from hearing Him call to me.
Maybe they keep me from
seeing Him delight in me.
Maybe they keep me hiding
in the clefts and crannies in fear.
They make the spring seem like winter, ruining the
blossoms and the fruit.
Interestingly, I can’t catch foxes
from inside the cleft of a rock. I must courageously come out of hiding, begin
to spread my wings.
* *
* * *
* * *
* * *
My three and a half hour hiking adventure with all
its twists and turns and unknowns and surprises did eventually lead me to the
place I had always wanted to go—the gray and brown bricks of the Great Wall
entering the vast blue ocean. I soaked it all in. It had been an amazing
gift-filled adventure. I wasn’t quite ready for it to be over.
Thankfully, following the
path down to the beach wasn’t the end. There were many more surprises and
delightful gifts that day. Sea glass, red doors, magnolia trees, helpful
shop-owners, the “golden hour” of sunlight perfectly coinciding with my time at
the beach….
And, I’m sure that these
gifts and adventures will continue the next day and the next day and the next….
His love for me is indeed
infinite and unchanging, is it not?! Keep my eyes wide open to see and my heart
ready to receive.
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